This question demands serious attention. Many today even children are engaged in sexual intercourse who are not married. Even Pastors, bishops, politicians, physicians etc. are engaged in this practice and many seem to believe that this is absolutely innocent and the bible does not speak against this act. Sex is intrinsically tied to marriage in the Old and New Testaments. Sex outside of or before marriage is called fornication.
What should be our reaction to fornication?
“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:” 1Thess 4:3
Answer: The bible clearly teaches us to abstain from fornication. Abstain in the original Greek transliteration means, “refrain, to hold oneself off”. In other words, refrain from fornication, stop from doing it, hold back from doing it, do not do it.
What is fornication?
1828 Noah’s Dictionary defines fornication as, “The incontinence or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female; also, the criminal conversation of a married man with an unmarried woman.”
Also the American Heritage Standard dictionary defines fornication as, “Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman not married to each other.”
Answer: We can clearly see that the bible is teaching us to refrain from having sexual intercourse with a man or woman who we are not married to, or if we are already involved in this relationship to cease from it. So this also implies that sex is permitted to those who are married.
Why is this so important even scientifically?
Recent studies show, ” Sex is a powerful brain stimulant. When someone is involved sexually, it makes him or her want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of dopamine—a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember.
The other part is oxytocin, which is designed to mainly help us forget what is painful. Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in women’s bodies. When a woman has a child and she is breastfeeding, she produces lots of oxytocin, which bonds her to her child. For this reason, mothers will die for their child, because they’ve become emotionally bonded due to the oxytocin that is released when they’re skin-to-skin with their child.
The same phenomenon occurs when a woman is intimate with a man. Oxytocin is released, and this makes her bond to him emotionally. Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who’s abusing her? We know now that it’s because she bonded to him emotionally because of the oxytocin released during sex.
Men produce vasopressin, which is also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” and it has the same effect as oxytocin has on a woman. It bonds a man to a woman.
These “bonding” agents narrow our selection to one person. That is wonderful in a marriage relationship but really bad in a dating relationship because you lose your objectivity when you’re searching for your potential lifemate.”
The bonding that we must have to our marriage partner of opposite sex is now robbed, and an opportunity is lost to the partner that Jesus really wants for us. Bonds, affections and emotions are built with many other persons, causing lots of stress, divorce, heart aches, bad experiences, and many other problems.
What happened to those in Sodom and Gomorrha who committed fornication?
The Bible says, “Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire” (Jude 1:7).
“But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. “(Luke 17:29)
Answer: Those who gave themselves to fornication, sex before marriage or sex outside of marriage were destroyed by fire and brimstone.
What relation does Sodom and Gomorrha have to us today?
“And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;” (2 Peter 2:6)
Answer: Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes is as example to all those that live ungodly today. In other words, fornication is ungodly. “For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.” Psalms 1:6. All those who give themselves up to fornication or sex before or outside of marriage will be destroyed by the lake of fire (hell) that is prepared for the devil and his angles.
“Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience” (Colossians 3:5,6).
The wrath of God will surely come to those children of disobedience, including those who continue in sex before marriage, which is sin. Jesus wants to cleanse us now from all sin. Allow Him to take control of your heart, passions and desires. “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;” 1 Peter 2:11. But I don’t have the strength to break up this relationship?, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Php 4:13. Surely if you are in this relationship cry out to the Lord and ask him to give you the strength to cut it, make your calling and election sure. Jesus desires that all should be saved, even you! This is the Great Love of God!